CrayonBreaky Chaos
by cloudofcalm
Summary: When the Doppleganger spell goes wrong, the Scoobies have two small problems to deal with... one of whom wants to take over the world before naptime
1. Animals marched in two by two

Disclaimer: Characters not mine. Property of Joss Whedon. Concept not mine. Challenge from gidgetgirl on chocolate covered strawberries archive. All her fault. Title also hers. Puns are always a gidget-thing. (getting odd compulsion to start writing cigarette intake (0) and weight gain (not telling) and add 'v.good' to everything) (If you haven't read Bridget Jones, you don't get my humour. V.bad) 

A/N: Okay, yeah. Shouldn't start new stories. Bad me. But it's ten minutes to one am, and I should have learnt some Latin tonight. Go review. Also, this is inspired by 'Throwback', a mini Angel and mini Faith fic by gidgetgirl. Go read. 

Chapter One – Crayon-Breaky Chaos 

There was the little poof as magic settled into... wherever magic went, and they all opened their eyes. And then there was..

"Uh, Anya?" Buffy asked, looking across the circle at the disgruntled ex-demon. "Was this supposed to happen?"

Two small redheads stood in the centre, side by side, with identical milky skin, big green eyes, and long bright red hair, swathed in the outfits of their former owners. Well, not exactly former because- 

"They've shrunk," Xander stated, in disbelief. "Does anyone else see the two small Willows? You shrunk them," he levelled the accusation at Anya. She shrugged, and blew a dismissive sound. 

"What did you do?" Buffy demanded, staring at the two children. "Giles, why are the Willows small? And why is the evil version not back in her own dimension?"

"Well this just sucks," the little vampire said disgustedly, glaring at her small chubby hands. She glared up at the Slayer, her yellow eyes flashing, but somehow four-year-old vampire Willow wasn't so much creepy as..

"Oddly disturbing," Xander remarked, looking at the miniature of his best friend. "She's not so much scary vampire as.. little lost puppy dog."

"Interesting," agreed Oz, with a mild nod. 

"My Xander," Willow said calmly, with a flirtatious look from under her tiny eyelashes. Xander visibly shuddered, jumping back from her and swallowed hard. 

"Okay, now that, creepy. Anyone else vote we get her a change of clothes?" They all looked at vampire Willow, who folded her little arms across her leather clad chest, scowling, hauling up the now seriously out-sized outfit. She growled warningly. 

"I like my clothes," she stated. Little normal-Willow's green eyes rounded, and she stuck her thumb in her mouth, playing with a piece of her long red hair with her right hand as she took the time to think it over. 

"It's perturbing," she commented, around her thumb. She looked up at the adults solemnly. "Is it perturbing for you?" 

'Did Willow use words like that a lot?" Buffy whispered to Xander in an aside. He nodded. "Oh yeah. Remember the play doctor game? She used to read her dad's medical books from around age three and a half and diagnose me with all these conditions. She's always been wordy."

The little vampire looked her twin over, and frowned, sliding into her human visage. "I don't like this," she announced to the adults decidedly. She looked at little Willow. "Do you like this?"

Little Willow considered it, her head cocked on one side. She shook her head.

"I think this is an ambiguous situation," she settled for, with an innocent look up at Buffy. 

The Slayer's look was one of concentrated disbelief as she looked down at the two small cherub-like redheads. On the left, innocent Willow, in very much more baggy pink fuzz, long words and big green eyes, on the right, a lot less innocent Willow in baggy black leather, disconcerting ideas and big green eyes with a disturbing ability to turn yellow. 

"What do we do?' she hissed to Giles, who shrugged absently. The Watcher seemed to be in a state of shock, past the point of cleaning his glasses. 

"I don't know," he answered, looking from small child to small chi..vampire. "I can't see you," he searched for a word that didn't sound too violent, and gave up, "Putting her out of her, er, misery," he added in a slightly more doubtful tone. Vamp Willow looked as if she all too enjoyed being evil. 

Buffy looked aghast, glancing back at the two who were by now sizing one another up. "I can't stake Willow! I found it hard when she was regular sized, and now she's all Happy Meal I can't do it."

"Well we can't exactly send her back in that state," Giles observed, looking at Willow. Willow glared back in a distinctly vampiric way, her lip curled. "She might not be exactly defenceless but-"

"I don't think the world is ready to handle evil Willow small-sized," Xander put in. 

"So we're keeping her?" the blonde Slayer checked, looking from Xander to Giles, worry lacing her tone. 

"Mortals," Anya sighed, rolling her eyes as she did so. "Always thinking things with their hearts."

"Right. Passing over what the crazy ex-demon thinks," Xander said sarcastically, "Are we in agreement? Keeping the miniature evil one?" 

"Definitely ambiguous," little Willow stated once more, her lower lip wobbling. "Where's Mommy?" Evil Willow rolled her eyes. 

"Bored now." She cast a wicked look at her double, and cocked her head to one side, a thoughtful (and evil) expression on her tiny features, then licked tiny Willow's neck. "Salty," she said, as an afterthought. She smiled, impishly. "Nice."

Little Willow giggled suddenly, covering her mouth with both hands. "Tickles," she explained, her voice muffled. 

"I so did not just see that," Xander affirmed, his eyes firmly closed. 

"Giles!" Buffy looked at the Watcher, her eyes wide. "Why are they like this?" 

"Well," he said slowly, considering the problem. "The spell is complex. As they are two halves of a whole, I would hypothesise that if they were even slightly misaligned in the incantation, then the spell would fail." His face took on an interested cast. "It's fascinating really." He trailed off as the others all stared at him, including the Willows.

"Speak English," Buffy told him. He sighed, wishing that one day he'd be able to use the explanations he formed without 'translating' into American. "Sorry," he said, with no trace of apology in his tone.

"I understand," spoke up little Willow, her voice so soft they could barely hear it. She gave Giles a confiding smile. "We didn't speak right, so it didn't work. And there's another Me." She looked over at the other Willow, and tucked her thumb back firmly into her mouth. "Ambiguous," she clarified for the group.

The other Me was starting to look really pissed off. "I want to go home. Now," she demanded. 

"I think we have a small," Xander paused, to grin goofily at his pun, "Okay, big problem on our hands."

'Hungry," mini evil Willow added to her list of complaints. This new world totally sucked. The minions weren't acting minion-y, and she had this new, and weird urge, to curl up and go to sleep. 

"Uh oh," Buffy looked from the Scoobies to the Willows and back again. Little Willow smiled angelically. 

A/N: Next chapter, the Scoobies rota babysitting for the Willows, snack time, nap time, and plotting-for-world-domination time. 

Go read Throwback, but not before reviewing, please. 


	2. Subtlety

A/N: Yes, it's been a while coming – I have to read decent kidfic to get into the mood to write this piece while I suffer block, so thanks to ReganX for her stories, which are the reason this is up! Forgive the skippage – I couldn't find a place to start. Thanks also goes to gidgetgirl, who tried to help me write this a while ago. *blush*... yeah, I've been revising for exams.  
  
*  
  
"Okay, what do we do now?" Buffy looked around the library at the others, then back to the little girls. Side by side, the identical small faces looked back up at her, and in unison, blinked green eyes.  
  
"Hungry," Willow announced, rubbing her stomach petulantly. Now swathed in one of Buffy's tee-shirts from Junior High – the only clothing that Buffy had in the house pre-dating vampire destruction, from her brief stop over – but entirely necessary to preserve four-year-old modesty, she glared up at Buffy. "I'm hungry."  
  
"I picked up the blood pack from the fridge," Buffy informed her, tossing the plastic pack of plasma to the little girl. Willow jumped, and dropped it.  
  
"I don't drink blood," she told Buffy sweetly. "Do you have peanut butter and jelly?"  
  
The Willow to her left growled nastily, and curled her tiny upper lip. Buffy stared at her.  
  
"Okay, when regular Willow gets mean," she muttered, scooping up the plastic bag and handing it to the vampire version of the four year old. She dug into the back of supplies she'd taken from home as Giles, Anya, Xander and Oz had snuck the girls back to the library, and pulled out a sandwich and a juice-box.  
  
"Here, Willow," she handed it to the other child. Pulling the straw off the carton, the human child stabbed the juice box with obvious enjoyment, and began to drink thirstily. Vampire Willow looked up from her own meal, and sent a sideways look to her twin. Fighting against her inner dignity, a small voice demanded a straw too.  
  
"I want," she said simply, pointing. "Straw."  
  
"A gallon of no," Buffy replied, a disgusted look on her face. "We so have to make a way to tell them apart."  
  
"Well, vamp Willow, and Willow," Xander pointed first to the child with red goo on her chin, and secondly to the little girl who smiled angelically back at him.  
  
"Xander, you've just mixed them up," Giles said tiredly, pinching the bridge of his nose. "And in any case, something a little less obtrusive is needed."  
  
"That means sticking out," Willow informed him, wiping the sticky substance off her chin with her fingers, then licked them experimentally. "Mm."  
  
"I knew what that meant," Xander protested. He looked around the group, and folded his arms across his chest, defensively. "What? I did."  
  
"Howbout, evil one, and not so evil?" he added, a moment later. Anya rolled her eyes. "Mortals," she muttered dismissively.  
  
"Hey, demon gal," Buffy spoke up, lifting her chin to indicate Anya. "Are you actually going to help? As in do something besides shrink our friend?"  
  
Anya shrugged. "I'm bored." She strode calmly toward the door, pushed it open, and left, leaving the doors swinging.  
  
"I don't think she's coming back," volunteered little Willow, helpfully.  
  
"VW and Willow," Oz suddenly spoke up from the back of the library. They turned to look at him. He gave a tiny nonchalant shrug. "Vampire Willow, VW."  
  
"Yes," breathed Giles. "It does sound like one of the American ghastly acronyms." They stared at him. He coughed apologetically. "Ah, yes."  
  
"VW and Willow," Xander repeated, giving the matching pair a goofy grin. "It's kinda sweet, you know? I mean, nobody is ever gonna guess that VW stands for Vampire Willow, the version of Willow's four year old form with fangs conjured by a seriously weird spell, and not, say Velma Wilhelmina or something." He blinked, looking up at them.  
  
"Why are you guys all making the slaying gesture?"  
  
"Willow's four year old vampire form?" repeated a familiarly cool, and superior voice from behind him. Xander's face fell.  
  
"I just blew the VW cover, didn't I?" he asked, looking behind them. Cordelia tapped one ice blue Versace sandal, and regarded him evenly down her nose.  
  
"I'll say you did," she drawled, tossing back thick, dark brown hair.  
  
*  
  
A/N: It's short, bad, but hey, it was a chapter. Next chapter, Cordelia goes shopping, and VW and Willow are babysat by Angel for the night. Any requests as to who should pull babysitting duty, throw it into a review. 


End file.
